[ Every time he hears this, it's heartbreaking. There have been more than enough students with rough pasts, it's not a rare thing to hear. And he's gotten something of a background from Arthur, tangentially, but it's different hearing it.
[ He can't deny it's one of the things he admires about Charles. His ability to care so much. This... empathy that he's rarely seen in his life. But then he hasn't exactly floated around in the best circles.
Still. To have it turned onto him leaves him a bit blindsided and not really sure how to deal with it. Especially in a situation like this. ]
There's not much that can be done right now. All you're doing is giving yourself more gray hairs.
[ He does, but he's committed to this bald-faced lie. He can actually be incredibly vain for all of his altruism and lacking self-care. It's the 1980s. ]
I don't doubt that you mean it. I'm just not used to it. Being self-sufficient is what I do. I had to learn when I was young and I'm not worried about it now.
[ It's why he has his mattress under the best vent in the place and blankets and pillows on it for added warmth. He has his weapons and water near him, what food he can leave out. The door is barricaded with the couch after some of the noises he heard out there the other day. And he has what he needs to get out of a window if he needs an escape route.
He has plans in place. He's not concerned about himself. ]
[ If it means there's nothing to worry about, if it means there is a next time without question...he'd suffer quite a lot. Slights to his vanity included. ]
And that hardly dissuades me, so I suppose we both have something to get used to.
[ He would have hoped that obvious, but at this juncture, apparently it also bears saying. There's a part of him--a small one--that still worries about the risk of rejection in it, especially if Arthur had only thought of their recurring (verging on regular) dalliances as just that.
But that's what...is it love?--affection, certainly, is about. It all comes with an inherent risk. ]
The "why" is that I care about you.
[ That's it. That's all that matters. What other reason could he possibly need? ]
[ And this? This--well it's not precisely the reason he dislikes this distance, but it has quickly become his predominant motive for his distaste.
Oh, Arthur. ]
Because that's how relationships work. Feelings don't always have reasons, they just are.
[ The great romances never including a great deal of sense. And yet, that nonsense may just be a shared quality for a reason.
It's strange, new in a way he hasn't felt in a very, very long time. He knows what kind of loss leads to these feelings, but this sort of isolation? It hurts to even consider. ]
He stares at that statement for what feels like a long time and he huffs something of a laugh, flopping down on his mattress for a moment and staring at the ceiling without seeing it. He pushes himself back up to sitting and honestly wonders how the hell it ended up like this so fast (or fast for him). It took him months to feel comfortable around Mal and Dom and they had just been friends. ]
It will probably come as no surprise to you that I haven't had many of those.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
specifications) wrote2017-06-22 08:26 am
BOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
jaysus
It's not something that comes up often.
[ At least not directed towards him. ]
sobbing
This is somehow so much worse. ]
It's high time for that to change.
lays here
Still. To have it turned onto him leaves him a bit blindsided and not really sure how to deal with it. Especially in a situation like this. ]
There's not much that can be done right now. All you're doing is giving yourself more gray hairs.
I'm fine, Charles.
FFF
[ THEY DON'T EXIST, ARTHUR, SHUT UP. ]
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[ YOU'RE SO VAAAAIIIIN~~ ]
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[ He does, but he's committed to this bald-faced lie. He can actually be incredibly vain for all of his altruism and lacking self-care. It's the 1980s. ]
But I do very much mean it. Imaginary or not.
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[ Don't think he won't. ]
I don't doubt that you mean it. I'm just not used to it. Being self-sufficient is what I do. I had to learn when I was young and I'm not worried about it now.
[ It's why he has his mattress under the best vent in the place and blankets and pillows on it for added warmth. He has his weapons and water near him, what food he can leave out. The door is barricaded with the couch after some of the noises he heard out there the other day. And he has what he needs to get out of a window if he needs an escape route.
He has plans in place. He's not concerned about himself. ]
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[ If it means there's nothing to worry about, if it means there is a next time without question...he'd suffer quite a lot. Slights to his vanity included. ]
And that hardly dissuades me, so I suppose we both have something to get used to.
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You don't have to do this.
Arthurrrrrrr ;;
That isn't why I do.
lays in puddle
Then what is the why?
♡
But that's what...is it love?--affection, certainly, is about. It all comes with an inherent risk. ]
The "why" is that I care about you.
[ That's it. That's all that matters. What other reason could he possibly need? ]
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Not exactly a reason.
[ As Point, he's always looking for more information. And in dreamsharing especially, there has to be a reason for everything. ]
I don't understand why.
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Oh, Arthur. ]
Because that's how relationships work. Feelings don't always have reasons, they just are.
[ The great romances never including a great deal of sense. And yet, that nonsense may just be a shared quality for a reason.
It's strange, new in a way he hasn't felt in a very, very long time. He knows what kind of loss leads to these feelings, but this sort of isolation? It hurts to even consider. ]
no subject
He stares at that statement for what feels like a long time and he huffs something of a laugh, flopping down on his mattress for a moment and staring at the ceiling without seeing it. He pushes himself back up to sitting and honestly wonders how the hell it ended up like this so fast (or fast for him). It took him months to feel comfortable around Mal and Dom and they had just been friends. ]
It will probably come as no surprise to you that I haven't had many of those.
b y e
[ He knows the loss of relationships--at least ones like this--far more keenly than he remembers how they started. ]
But I'm willing to give it a try if you are.
u rude person
love u 2
[ And likely, no matter how much it likely should, it never will. ]
HUFFS
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[ Those are famous last words. ]
If they are,
that's an end I'll accept.
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[ This pretentious motherfucker
that he [fill in the blank]]I can't believe this is happening over text.
[ But he has to laugh about it because of course it is. ]
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[ HE'S STILL PRESSED ABOUT THAT, YOU SHIT. ]
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[ STAY PRESSED. ]
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I still don't LIKE it.
Better?
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